I guess that's something I will never know!
However, I can discuss my hopes and dreams for your current feelings in the supposition that there is an afterlife!
I think the idea of Heaven was presented to man to help them have these hopes.
The ancient Greeks had it right really....their story of Pandora's box tells how Pandora opens the box and releases all the evils and illnesses upon the world but is able to shut the lid quickly, before Hope escapes. This Hope is needed in order that we always have something to look forward to.
The idea of an afterlife is a type of Hope, in that we can look forward to seeing you again and we can rest easy in our belief that you are in a happy place.
I believe that you are feeling much more content and untroubled by the inner turmoils that festered within your beautiful soul. Knowing you so well, I also think that you would be feeling a great deal of regret. You would hate to be looking down on the hurting that we are all doing down here. But, although we miss you intensely, we are all ok and slowly getting stronger.
Our lives will never be the same but we can take solace in the belief that 'today you feel happy'!! xx
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